


I'll Be the Road to Take You Home

by yurishika



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-26 18:24:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,692
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3860026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yurishika/pseuds/yurishika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A year has passed since they’ve seen each other in Sochi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll Be the Road to Take You Home

**Author's Note:**

> \- First of all, I’m really sorry for the lack of updates. Real life has just been so busy and I’m sort of kind of stuck with all my writing prompts. I hope this fic makes up for it, somehow.  
> \- I tried to make the timeline for Worlds 2015 as accurate as possible, but I’m pretty sure I have some lapses, so please forgive me for that.  
> \- The title of the fic is taken from the song [_I’ll Be Here For You_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R2ly-dVi9d4) by Robert Earl Keen, but the fic is more inspired by the song [_Hontou no Oto_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bS0wMG9Jxow) by KOKIA.  
>  \- Many thanks to Clemencio for being my beta.  
> \- Dedicated to PH Hagout, and to all those who waited for a Mizuru fic. Haha.

The hotel lobby is strangely empty that Monday afternoon, of which Michael doesn’t complain. He, Han, and Junehyoung are lazing around in the lobby, checking their phones, sharing photos, catching up on the many things they haven’t talked about the last time they saw each other. In this case, Junehyoung makes him jealous when they talk about Four Continents in Korea, especially the time when Junehyoung and the rest of Team Korea showed Han and Zijun around Seoul before they left. Meanwhile, Michael relates to Junehyoung the places Han and Zijun have showed him around when he shared training rinks with them before Worlds. Han, who is caught in the middle, just sits back, listening to them with amusement.

Suddenly there is a commotion in the entrance, and the three of them jump up to see what is going on. He recognizes the Japanese conversation—though not enough to actually understand what they’re saying—and his heartbeat stops as he watches the throng of people arriving. There are people with video cameras and boom mics, there are people who are walking whilst typing on their phones at the same time …

And then there’s _him_ , flanked by his mother in the left and Kobayashi in the right. There are no fans tailing him, strangely enough, but Michael welcomes this change. He’s seen Yuzuru through a video call a month ago, and he had noticed that the other had gotten even thinner, how the bags under his eyes had gotten bigger. Now that there’s no laptop screen and distance dividing them anymore, Michael just wants to move forward and pull Yuzuru in his arms, but a tall man in a suit swats away a journalist from _The Japan Times_ almost leaping towards the entourage. Obviously this is not a good time.

“Oh my god!” Han suddenly blurts out. “I just realized you both injured your right ankles. What is this, couple injuries?”

“As usual, Han, your timing is impeccable,” Junehyoung says with a roll of his eyes.

Yuzuru finally passes by them, and their gazes meet. Yuzuru’s eyes had widened, and Michael’s heart had suddenly started beating faster that he can barely breathe. The last time they saw each other was in the park in Sochi, before Michael left for Manila, and seeing Yuzuru in person again almost feels like a dream. If only he can move forward and say hi, and hope things will be the same between them.

But given what has happened the past year …

“Yuzuru,” his mother says. “Hurry up, let’s go.”

Yuzuru blinks, as if coming back from a long trance. He makes a hasty apology before he follows his mother through the crowd.

Michael watches him retreat, quashes the urge to follow Yuzuru. He almost forgets that they’ll be seeing a lot of each other this week, and he can only hope they can sneak in time together in between their busy schedules.

They’ve done it in Sochi, this shouldn’t be so hard.

Right?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael walks in the rink for the first day of practice, surprised that there are only a few people in there. Then again, it’s no surprise, given that some of the athletes choose not to practice on the first day in favor of resting. But for Michael, training time is time he can’t afford to lose. Besides, he’s been here the entire month, and he’s had enough rest in between.

He runs into Junehyoung, Jason, Joshua, and Misha in the locker room, and he has a quick chat with them before Morozov pulls him away to warm up. By the time he arrives in the rink, the number of people in the audience seem to have increased, most of the girls enthusiastically chatting. A quick look at the girls’ banners and the stuffed toys they’re holding and Michael already has the answer to the person they are waiting for.

By the time Group 3 enters the rink, the chatter turns from excited to confused. After all, Takahiko Kozuka and Takahito Mura are there, but there are no signs of Yuzuru Hanyu. Michael isn’t so worried about this absence, but he _does_ wonder where Yuzuru is right now.

“He won’t be practicing today.”

Michael looks over his shoulder, and his eyes widen to see Javier Fernandez right behind him. “U-Um …” he starts, but he can’t find the words to spurt out. It’s still a surreal feeling, after all, to be approached by a European champion and a World medalist.

Javier chuckles as he leans against the boards beside Michael. “Yuzuru. He won’t be practicing today,” he says. “He’ll only rest today, and Brian can’t object to that.”

 _Rest. Of course._ Michael nods in understanding. “He needs it,” he remarks.

Their turn arrives an hour later, and Morozov instructs him to practice his jumps before his music starts to play. He tries to focus, visualizes the Chinese crowd cheering for him, and then he starts his routine. His ankle and hip are still hurting, and it’s difficult to properly land his jumps. When his music starts to play, he skates like he’s already competing in the free skate, but his ankle starts to hurt after the first jump, that he has to pause mid-skate just to let the pain subside for a bit. But when he resumes practice, he ends up falling on most of his jumps, and his only consolation was the crowd cheering during his final spin.

Morozov doesn’t look pleased when he returns to the rink side. “You’re not going to qualify for the free skate with that kind of performance,” he tells Michael before he can even put his skate guards on.

Michael flinches, the words stinging. Morozov is a stark contrast to Coach Nicks, Coach Ilia, and Coach Kudriavstev combined. But he knows those words are true. This is his first time in senior Worlds, and he wants to make an impression, wants to prove to everyone that getting into the Olympics wasn’t a fluke and that he’s someone worth watching out for.

“Get your act together tomorrow,” Morozov tells him, giving him a glare before walking out of the rink.

There’s a hand on his shoulder, and when he looks, Javier is smiling at him sympathetically. “Don’t worry about him,” he says. “Morozov is like that. He speaks his mind very harshly, but he means well.”

Michael sighs. “It will take some getting used to.”

“It will. Coaching changes are difficult, but you’ll get used to it, eventually.” Javier winces when he hears Orser calling him, already by the exit. “Well, gotta go. It was nice seeing you again, Michael.”

Michael finds himself grinning. “You too, Javi.”

Javier makes his way out, but he pauses and looks over his shoulder. “Oh, and by the way, Room 1213. In case, you know …” He throws him a mischievous wink at his direction before finally heading his way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He practices some more after everyone has left. There’s no music this time, but Michael has trained himself enough to imagine the music in his head. He doesn’t land his jumps perfectly, but his skate was better compared to his skate earlier. If only Morozov was here to witness this.

As he strikes his final pose, he almost panics when he hears some cheering. He’s surprised to find fans in the area, most of whom Michael recognizes. He has seen some of them lurking in the rink a couple of weeks ago when he trained with Han, Nan, and Zijun. Back then, they were in the rink for Team China, and he’s oddly surprised and flattered, especially when the fans are there when there’s no Team China in sight.

The fans approach him as soon as he steps out of the rink. He can’t understand what they’re saying, but they pull out a notebook, a pen, and a cell phone, and he automatically gets the gist. After that short autograph session, Michael leaves the rink, feeling a little better.

His finger absentmindedly presses the button for the 12th floor as soon as he steps in the hotel elevator. His hotel room is in the 15th floor, but he remembers Javier’s words and decides maybe he can just pass by.

Room 1213 is not hard to find, especially when he runs into Takahito and Takahiro, who wave at him and point to an area in the hallway. He thanks them but ignores the kissing noises the duo was making as he makes his way.

Finally, he reaches Room 1213, but his finger pauses on the doorbell, touching the surface but not pressing. Maybe dropping by Yuzuru’s room without warning doesn’t seem like a good idea. What if Yuzuru’s not there? What if Javier gave him the wrong room number and that the two Takas are making fun of him? Or—

The door suddenly swings open, and Michael jumps back in surprise, blurting out a “Mrs. Hanyu!” when he recognizes the woman who stepped out, purse in hand.

“Oh, Michael!” The woman’s expression turns from surprised to elated as she pulls him to a quick hug. “Long time no see! How are you?” She pulls away and looks at him from head to toe. “Did you grow taller?”

“Just a couple of inches,” Michael replies, grinning sheepishly. “Is Yuzuru …?”

“Oh.” Mrs. Hanyu looks a little disappointed at the question. “I’m sorry, he’s already asleep. He’s exhausted from the plane trip, and Ms. Kobayashi strictly advised he get some rest.”

“Oh,” Michael repeats, his voice more disappointed than Mrs. Hanyu’s. But of course. It’s already close to ten, and Yuzuru needs all the rest he can get. “Okay. I guess I’ll go then …”

Mrs. Hanyu is quick on the uptake. “Do you want to drop by, just for a while?”

Michael blinks. “Is … is it okay?”

“Of course!” Mrs. Hanyu smiles. “Now, come on in. I’m meeting Ms. Kobayashi, so I have to hurry, too.”

Just as what Mrs. Hanyu had said, Yuzuru has an arm over his eyes, peacefully asleep. Michael remembers how he and Yuzuru fell asleep under the stars in Sochi, remembers how endearing Yuzuru is when he’s asleep, all the worries and pressures forgotten. Michael feels his lips tug upward as he plops himself on the edge of the bed and brushing the stray hair off Yuzuru’s forehead.

He almost yelps when Yuzuru pulls his arms away, and he finds himself staring at the older one’s eyes, a little groggy but looking a little surprised before his lips turn up as well. “Hey,” he says, his voice cracking.

“Hey yourself.” Michael grins, linking their hands as soon as Yuzuru reaches out for his. “I can’t stay long. You need to sleep.”

Yuzuru groans and turns over to the side so that he and Michael are in better eye contact. “I want to see you tomorrow,” he says.

“Let’s talk about it tomorrow,” Michael says. “You go to sleep, okay?”

Yuzuru groans, but he nods and is asleep in an instant. Mrs. Hanyu looks amused when Michael stands up to leave. “It’s been a difficult year for him,” she tells him. “I’m glad you were by his side.”

Michael wants to point out that he could hardly call online chats and video calls “being by Yuzuru’s side.” Even if he wanted to fly to Toronto or Japan or wherever, he knows he can’t. When the collision happened, all he wanted to do is to take the next flight to Shanghai and be by Yuzuru’s side the moment Yuzuru was wheeled in the hospital. But instead, he was sitting in front of his laptop screen, feeling the most hopeless he could be.

Even now, as he remembers Yuzuru’s sleeping face, he wishes there’s something he can do.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael instantly finds a new LINE message from Yuzuru the moment he wakes up and checks his phone. _I already had breakfast, and I’m in training right now. Do you wanna have lunch later?_ He has attached a sticker of a puppy hopefully to convince Michael to say yes.

He doesn’t have any training scheduled until in the early evening, but he asks his mom nonetheless, who agree without batting an eyelash. “I’ll handle Morozov,” she tells him before he can even ask. “Don’t worry about it. If I don’t let you see Yuzuru today, you might get distracted for the rest of the week.”

Michael knows he doesn’t try to let personal matters get in the way of his focus on training. But he knows what his mother means.

Yuzuru tells him to meet him by the hotel’s back exit. It’s not the most ideal of meeting places, but he completely understood when he and Junehyoung pass by the hotel lobby after breakfast to see the press lounging around. He tries not to think about lunch so much during morning practice, but it’s difficult, especially when Junehyoung and Han are teasing him about it. The hours until the end of practice time become torturously long, and he almost sprints out of the rink, past a confused Morozov, as soon as practice is over.

He’s the first to arrive at the hotel’s back entrance, with no person in sight. Which is a relief because he’s not sure if he can answer questions he’s not prepared for. Yuzuru said he’ll be coming down in a bit, so he takes a seat by the stairs and opens a random mobile app to pass the time.

He doesn’t know how long he’s been playing Candy Crush, but he feels a hand on his shoulder, and he almost yelps in surprise. But he finds himself grinning widely the moment he locks gazes with Yuzuru, eyes hidden by crinkles as he smiles. “Hey,” he greets, almost breathless.

“Hey,” Yuzuru greets back. “Did you wait long? A journalist went up to me just as I was about to head here, I’m sorry I took so long …”

“It’s okay,” Michael says, quickly stuffing his phone in his pocket. “At least you didn’t get cold feet on me.”

“I’d never.” As if to prove his point, Yuzuru leans in, and Michael gladly returns the kiss, pulling Yuzuru closer because _it’s been a year_ since they done this, and he didn’t realize how much he has craved for this to happen again until now.

They pull away when they hear a soft sound, panicking until they find the source of the sound—a stray cat passing by. It’s not something to fear about, but Yuzuru is quick to pull Michael up and say, “Come on, let’s go. I know this really great place where we can eat and talk without anyone listening in.”

Michael grins. “Okay. Let’s go.”

Even with a face mask on, Yuzuru keeps looking over his shoulder as they walk, flinching at the mere sight of someone with a camera or a cell phone ready to take a photo. Michael tries to calm him down by twining their hands, and it works, somehow, when Yuzuru relaxes his shoulders. A crowd is starting to form out of the lunch-hour rush, and no one is going to focus on them, two ordinary-looking boys holding hands. At least, Michael hopes no one does.

They reach the restaurant without causing any commotion, and the server instantly tries to speak Japanese as soon as he sees Yuzuru. Michael hears Han’s name being thrown in the conversation, but aside from that, he doesn’t understand a thing. The next thing he knows is that Yuzuru is dragging him to the farthest end of the room, where they’re the only occupants.

“Han’s cousin owns this place,” Yuzuru explains as he takes a seat, pulling Michael beside him. “We like eating here every time there’s a competition.”

“Oh.” Michael takes a look around his surroundings and sighs when Yuzuru puts a hand on the back of his neck, the warmth of the older one’s hand creeping all over his body.

“Missed you,” Yuzuru tells him, and he takes the opportunity to lean in as soon as Michael turns to look at him.

Michael lets the kiss linger until he hears footsteps coming their way. “Missed you too,” he mumbles as he pulls away and turns his gaze to the server who plops a menu on their table.

It’s Yuzuru who orders for them, who doesn’t even look at the menu and has memorized the order by heart. “That’s what Han recommended,” he explains, his cheeks pink as Michael laughs.

“He could be recommending something we wouldn’t eat, you know, ruin my really good impression of you.”

Yuzuru rolls his eyes. “He’s already ruined my image enough, what else do I have to lose?”

Michael laughs a little louder than he should have.

The food is almost ignored in favor of catching up. They occasionally have video calls since they exchanged online accounts during Sochi, but nothing beats actually having Yuzuru beside him and talking about a lot of things. Michael talks about working with Morozov and what he’s been up to since he started training with Han, Nan, and Zijun; Yuzuru talks about being back in Sendai, being calm as he stays in his hometown until he’s back to training.

“There’s something calming about being back home,” Yuzuru tells him, poking the dumpling on his plate. “Back then I’d just go to the rink and train until late at night, but since I wasn’t allowed to until a month ago, I didn’t notice some changes.”

“Like what?”

Yuzuru leans against his seat and crosses his arms in silent contemplation. “I don’t know. I can’t put it into proper words … Like, have you ever returned someplace and realized that they’ve moved forward while you’re still stuck in the same place and time?”

“Sort of,” Michael says. Every time he comes home he’s greeted by people who he doesn’t know but they want to hang out with him, get his autograph, and have a picture with him. But what he’s still used to is flopping on his bed and sleeping a dreamless sleep the moment he arrives home from training. He doesn’t want to take the experience back, most of the time, but a year has passed and he still hasn’t gotten used to the celebrity treatment.

“Are you nervous?” Yuzuru asks him. “It’s your first senior Worlds competition.”

Michael half shakes his head. “I’m more excited; I just hope I make it to the free skate at this point.”

“You will, don’t worry!” Yuzuru tells him, squeezing Michael’s hand to reassure him.

Of course, Michael isn’t sure. He has an injury, and the skaters he’s up against are so much better than he is. But he tries to stay positive, like every other competition he has been in. It helps. Most of the time.

“How about you?” he asks. “Are you nervous?”

He catches Yuzuru’s expression change, but it was back to a more cheerful expression before Michael can point it out. “Me?” he asks, his smile looking more like a grimace than anything. “Nah, I’m not. I’ve done this before. This shouldn’t be a problem!” He waves a hand glibly to emphasize his point.

Michael has known Yuzuru enough to detect if the older one is telling the truth. After all, Japan has to keep three spots for next year’s Worlds, and at this state, everyone is relying on Yuzuru to make it happen. It’s a tall order, probably taller than winning the Olympics, because it will determine what will happen for the next few years till Pyeongchang.

But he doesn’t point it out, instead giving his most supportive smile. “Okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He arrives in the main rink earlier than usual, for the second day of official practice. The rink was teeming with photographers and journalists, and he doesn’t need to ask why they’re all there; there’s only one person in this competition who can gather such a crowd. His guesses are confirmed when the cameramen leap to their feet and the fans start screaming the moment Yuzuru enters, rejecting interviews or requests to pose for photographs. Michael wants to call Yuzuru, but he stops himself; he doesn’t want that attention.

The cameras start snapping and the cell phones are held up when Yuzuru takes to the center of the rink to start his practice for his short program. Chopin’s _Ballade No. 1_ reverberates throughout the area, and everyone falls silent as Yuzuru stays still for a few seconds before beginning his skate. Michael holds his breath; he always does, because this program is perhaps his favorite out of all of Yuzuru’s programs.

Yuzuru sets up for a quad toe, but he ends up falling. He struggles in his next jump, and he can hear the murmur among the audience and the reporters. Michael wants nothing more than to shut all of them out for Yuzuru, and tell them that a bad practice doesn’t reflect a bad performance in the competition. But who is he to tell them off?

There’s an applause when Yuzuru strikes his ending pose, but he doesn’t look pleased with himself, not even when he skated by the boards, Orser and Javier giving him words of encouragement. Michael approaches them, but not too near, and they briefly meet gazes. Michael gives a reassuring smile, and Yuzuru smiles back, forced, before being quickly whisked away by the coaching staff.

He feels Yuzuru’s eyes on him when he starts his own practice. He successfully lands all his jumps, and once again, the crowd starts cheering when he does his final spin. Morozov nods in approval as he skates off the rink, giving him a pat on the back and a “Skate like that more often.” Javier gives him a thumbs up, too, and Michael can’t help but grin and feel giddy as he accepts a couple of gifts the fans have been dangling from their side. Suddenly, he has a good feeling about the competition, if today’s practice was any indication.

When the crowd has finally calmed down, he tries to find Yuzuru, but he has already disappeared.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s eating breakfast with Junehyoung, Soyoun, and Haejin when someone plops their tray beside him. When he looks up, Yuzuru is grinning widely at him. “Is it okay if I sit with you guys?” he asks. He finds Kanako giving them a wide smirk from the other table, a sign of teasing in the near future.

Michael throws an inquiring look at his table-mates, and it’s Junehyoung gives him a thumbs-up and a wink.

Yuzuru is quiet throughout the meal, but Michael tries to get him into the conversation. The Korean skaters are equally shy, but they manage to talk about something with Yuzuru, which is mostly about the upcoming short dance, but it’s a start. Soon, Han and Zijun join them, and the atmosphere becomes more comfortable. Zijun invites them to go out after the men’s draw, after which even Kanako, Rika, and Satoko get dragged along the impromptu plan.

“We’re leaving to watch the short dance in a bit. You guys sure you don’t want to come?” Haejin asks as soon as they all finish breakfast, most of them standing up to leave.

Michael shakes his head. “I need to practice,” he says. As much as he wants to cheer for his favorite ice dancers, he still has a lot of issues to work on.

“How about you, Yuzuru?” Han asks, slinging an arm around Zijun’s shoulders.

Yuzuru smiles. “I’m going to watch Cathy and Chris, then I might go to the smaller rink afterwards.” He sneaks his hand around Michael’s, and Michael can’t help but bite back a grin, looking forward to practice.

There’s a small rink dedicated to practices while the competition is ongoing. With the short dance going on, the rink is void of fans and even skaters; Michael assumes they’re all watching the competition. It’s his mother who’s accompanying him, and he focuses on making his short program perfect, or at least close to it.

He finishes his first two rounds of the short program, when he hears soft clapping. His heart skips a beat when he looks over his shoulder and sees Yuzuru standing next to his mother, his mother looking amused.

“I’m going out,” his mother says as Michael skates back to the boards. She’s grinning, and Michael knows that grin all too well. “Yuzuru, please take care of my son for me.” Before Michael can even reply, his mother pats Yuzuru on the shoulder and walks away.

There’s a long silence between them, Michael’s cheeks warm despite the cold atmosphere. Yuzuru is awkwardly scratching his cheek, occasionally looking at him then looking away. “Sorry about Mom,” he says, finally. “Sometimes she’s crazy.”

“If it helps, my mom is crazy, too.” Yuzuru chuckles, finally meeting his eyes. “So, your short program … it’s great.”

“Not as great as yours. How was the short dance?”

Yuzuru’s expression quickly changes to a frown. “Cathy fell. They might not make it to the free dance.”

“Oh.” Michael is at a loss. He has met Cathy and Chris in Sochi, but he hasn’t been close to them. “Well, there’s always next year.”

Yuzuru clears his throat. “Well, I’m gonna go practice, too. You’re not gonna lose your focus when I’m here, right?”

Michael snorts. “No, but maybe you will.”

They practice in silence, each going through the routine in their minds. Michael tries to concentrate, but his gaze turns to Yuzuru every now and then. Yuzuru is in his usual focus, but something is different. It’s like he’s going through the routine more cautiously than ever. This wasn’t the Yuzuru Hanyu he had come to admire.

Michael tries a triple axel and ends up falling, the impact hard on the cold surface. There’s a sharp jolt of pain from his hip, a pain that has bothered him since a month ago. He has barely gotten up when he hears someone skating up to him, and then he sees Yuzuru’s outstretched hand. “You okay?” Yuzuru asks when Michael takes his hand and pulls himself up.

“Just my usual problem,” Michael says, forcing a smile. He’s not going to admit that he’s getting frustrated at every fall, though. “No big deal. I’ll work on it.”

“Do you need any help? I mean—”

“It’s okay!” Michael says quickly. Yuzuru already has a lot on his mind; he doesn’t want to add to the equation. “I’ll … I’ll figure something out. Don’t worry about it.”

Yuzuru doesn’t look convinced, but he nods and resumes his routine.

They were allowed back to the main rink around after lunch, by which they’re back to training with their own coaches. Yuzuru had already left by the time Michael had arrived for his group practice, and he wanted to apologize to the older one for earlier. He tries to focus on practice, skating almost cleanly if not for a step-out on his axel. Still, Morozov looks more or less pleased with his practice, so he’ll take it for today.

He finds Yuzuru in the smaller rink again after dinner, going over his free skate routine. There’s no caution in the older one’s movements this time, and he can’t help but lean by the boards, enthralled as he watches. There are no fans in the rink, just the two of them, which most likely helps Yuzuru in skating without any inhibitions. He feels so lucky to be watching Yuzuru skate like this.

When Yuzuru strikes his ending pose, Michael steps on the ice. The older one jumps, surprised to find out that he’s not alone, but his shoulders immediately relax when he sees Michael approaching. “Don’t scare me like that!” he says, laughing nervously, hands on hips.

“Sorry, sorry,” Michael says, though his grin betrays the fact that he’s not sorry at all. “You’re not watching pairs?”

Yuzuru shrugs. “I wanted to be alone for a bit.”

“O-Oh, okay … do you want me to leave?”

“No!” Yuzuru quickly says, grabbing Michael’s hands before he has a chance to skate away. He smiles softly. “You’re okay.”

Michael smiles in relief.

As much as he doesn’t want to, Michael gives in to Yuzuru giving him some tips as he goes over his routine. Yuzuru demonstrates his triple axel, telling him how he tucks his arms and how he lands it perfectly. “Are you sure you want to focus on my routine instead of yours?” Michael asks him after his second run-through of his short program, which was cleaner than his run-through earlier. He throws a fist pump after the ending pose, much to Yuzuru’s amusement.

“I’ve had enough people worrying about me,” Yuzuru says, smile wry.

“Oh …” Michael feels a punch to the gut. Talk about being insensitive. “I’m sorry … I’m one of them …”

“It’s okay.” Yuzuru skates towards the boards, shoulders sagging. Michael knows the weight of a nation’s expectations are on it. “Sorry, I’m just … I don’t know.” He sighs.

Michael stays beside Yuzuru, taking his hand. “I wish I can do something to help,” he admits.

Yuzuru freezes and looks at him. There’s barely any space between their faces, and Michael knows what’s going to happen so he closes his eyes, relishes in the feel of Yuzuru’s lips against his. It’s fleeting, once again, as they hear footsteps approaching and the chattering of fans. “Just you being here is enough,” Yuzuru whispers, his smile brighter this time as he skates away to resume training.

Michael finds himself frozen in place for a couple of minutes, his lips still tingling as he watches Yuzuru on the ice, fluid and graceful, sending somersaults in his stomach.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael walks with Yuzuru, Junehyoung, and the Takas to meet Soyoun, Haejin, Rika, Satoko, Kanako, Cathy, and Chris in the hotel lobby. The ladies seem to be in a good mood, having finished the short program earlier that day. Kanako, in particular, is a little too hyper than usual, much to everyone’s amusement, and they all head out, with Han and Zijun’s handy-dandy document of the area as their sole guides.

The best thing about being in a large group is that Michael can slip his hand in Yuzuru’s and no one but their friends will be able to notice. Kanako is wagging her eyebrows at Yuzuru, and Junehyoung is clearing his throat imperceptibly, but he and Yuzuru feel more relaxed than their lunch date a couple of days ago. At least they wouldn’t have to worry too much about paparazzi or journalists or crazy fans.

They already had dinner before the men’s draw for the short dance, but they explore the night market, stuffing themselves with any edible-looking street food they can lay their eyes on. Junehyoung shoves a scorpion kebab in the ladies’ faces, which cause everyone but Satoko to scream, while the men almost double in laughter. It’s already late at night, too late to explore, so they content themselves in just walking aimlessly while making sure they’re not diverting from the itinerary Han and Zijun have set up for them.

Language is never a barrier whenever they gathered in one place; that’s what Michael likes the most about being with fellow athletes. They talk and laugh about a lot of things, most of which Michael can’t remember. He’s pretty sure he’s discussed K-Pop with Rika and the Korean skaters, of which Rika starts gushing about her favorite idol group couple. Kanako starts planning an itinerary that she insists they all go to the day after the banquet, of which Satoko reminds her that they will never get anywhere without Han and Zijun’s help. But all in all, at least Michael isn’t going to be a lot alone than he used to be.

“Are you nervous for tomorrow?” Haejin asks them as they’ve winded down and are walking back to the hotel.

Michael is always nervous before a competition; he guesses it’s natural to be. But he’s more excited than nervous. The World stage has a different, unexplainable situation than the Olympic stage, and he wants to prove that he can be someone people can watch out for. If he makes the free skate.

“You’ll do great,” Yuzuru tells him, drawing calming circles on the palm of his hand.

“You’ll do great, too,” Michael answers with a reassuring smile, placing his free hand on top of their entwined hands, ignoring the gagging noises Junehyoung is making as he furiously types something on his phone.

They walk back to the hotel, but Yuzuru tugs him by the wrist. “The hotel has a park,” he says, laughing at Michael’s eyebrows, knitted in confusion. “Come on, let’s have a look around.”

“Be safe!” Chris tells them in a singsong voice, only to have Cathy hit him on the arm. He also catches Takahito slipping Takahiko what looks like a bill on his hand, but Michael ignores that, just waves goodbye and lets Yuzuru pull him to the park.

There are only a few people in the park, and Yuzuru is brave enough to wrap his arm around Michael’s as they walk. Neither of them talk, just appreciate each other’s company. They try not to think about tomorrow, where they wouldn’t be able to talk until after the short program, and who knows if any of them will be in the mood to talk after that?

Michael wonders what it would be like if he and Yuzuru aren’t worrying about competition and image. Where they can walk on the streets without worrying about journalists spotting them, where they’re not miles apart, where there are no complications. Just him and Yuzuru, like this.

He feels a poke on his cheek, and when he turns he finds a finger and Yuzuru’s curious gaze. “What are you thinking about?” he asks.

“Me?” Michael blinks. He looks at the path ahead and shrugs. “Nothing much. Just how much I like this.”

“Oh …” Yuzuru smiles. “Me, too.”

They walk in silence until they reach a bench. It’s Yuzuru who takes a seat first, tugging him forward until Michael is on top of him, their foreheads touching. He feels the heat rush to his entire body, and he must be looking so vulnerable right now because Yuzuru is smirking.

“You’re so cute,” Yuzuru whispers, his hand creeping to the back of Michael’s neck, pushing lightly so that their lips can meet.

The kiss is a little different, less fleeting than the kisses they have had in the past. Yuzuru kisses him a little sloppier than usual, as if he has a sense of urgency, and Michael tries to reciprocate the level of fervor. He finds his hands roaming from Yuzuru’s face to his neck and to his arms. It’s a little awkward at first—he’s never done this before—but he smiles into the kiss when Yuzuru responds with soft gasps.

The kiss felt like it went for hours—or maybe that’s just him—but they both pull away gasping for breath when his phone starts blaring loudly. It’s his mother, asking him where he is because it’s almost time for him to go to bed. He groans as he steps away from Yuzuru, reluctantly, to type a reply to his mother. “I have to go,” he says, sighing.

“Me, too,” Yuzuru sighs as well and gets up, slinging an arm around Michael’s shoulders. “I’m sorry this got short. I’ll make it up to you when we’re both free.”

Michael nods and gives Yuzuru a quick kiss. “When they’re both free” meant a couple more days away, but he supposes he wouldn’t mind the wait.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A couple of hours after Michael has settled in his hotel room, he receives a LINE notification from Jinseo. “ _So I heard you got laid_ ,” the message reads, along with smirking stickers.

Michael curses Junehyoung and types a reply. “ _I didn’t._ ”

The response almost has him doubling over in laughter. “ _JUNEHYOUNG YOU LIAR._ ”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Michael’s head hurts the moment he wakes up the next day, and his mother blames him for going home late before shoving a tray of breakfast from room service next to him. He realizes what day it is today, and he feels like he had swallowed lead instead of sunny side-up eggs. The short program is in a few hours. _His senior World debut is in a few hours._ He tries to gulp in air, but struggles with it until his mother emerges from the bathroom, telling him to start getting ready.

He arrives in the training room where everyone is quiet, busy with their own preparations. He catches Yuzuru doing stretches with Javier and Nam, Yuzuru looking over his shoulder when he spots Michael walk in from his view in the mirror. They share a smile and a quiet greeting before Michael looks for Morozov.

Time flies fast and the next thing he knows is that Ivan, Yaroslav, Nan, Coufal, Majorov, and Bychenko have left the training room to get dressed in their costumes. Michael takes a deep breath and wills himself not to be nervous, or at least let most of the nerves subside. He can do this. He just has to do well and make it to the free skate.

Morozov pats him on the shoulder when Junehyoung waves goodbye to him before following Coach Chi out of the room. “You’re ready,” he tells him.

“Do you really think I am?” Michael asks, his heart pounding quickly as he tries to imagine his short program. Anything can happen at this point.

To his surprise, Morozov gives him a reassuring smile. “I know you are,” he replies.

The next few hours happen so quickly, from the warm-up to the actual short program. It’s the moment when he strikes his final pose and the crowd starts cheering that the adrenaline starts to fade, the realization that he fell on his triple axel (again) hitting him hard. He landed the rest of his jumps, but was it enough to qualify him for the free skate?

“Chin up,” Morozov tells him as they walk out of the kiss and cry after the announcement of his scores—seven points short from his personal best. “There are still many skaters to go.”

“But what if I still don’t qualify?” Michael voices the fear creeping in his consciousness.

His mother looks sympathetic. “Whether you qualify or not, you did your best,” she tells him, a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

He tries to not worry about qualifying, as he makes his way to the locker room to change before meeting Junehyoung in the audience to watch the rest of the competition. He blinks in surprise when he’s suddenly surrounded by girls asking for his autograph, asking for a photo, and shoving gifts in his arms. Junehyoung looks at him in amusement, although he has his own bag full of gifts from fans too.

The next thing he knows, Stephane Walker of Switzerland falls twice and places last after his short program, and Junehyoung is patting him on the back, mumbling “Congratulations.” By some strange stroke of luck, he managed to qualify for the free skate. While a part of him feels bad for Walker, the stronger feeling was the heavy weight that is finally lifted off his chest.

“Well, this is comforting,” Junehyoung says, a little wryly. “We just need to voodoo someone else and then I can get in.”

“You never know.” Michael shrugs.

Junehyoung ends up qualifying for the free skate, too, after Peter Liebers’ skate, and he almost jumps out of his seat in elation. Michael feels happy, too; Junehyoung is probably his closest friend among all the men skaters in the field, and it would feel lonely if the older one isn’t with him.

Now that the both of them are relaxed, he can focus better on the last group of skaters. But just when Michael thought he can actually relax, the audience lets out screams that reverberate throughout the arena, and his heart starts pounding fast. There are six more skaters to go before the short program ends, but everyone is talking about only one person. Michael tries to breathe as his eyes focus on Yuzuru takes to the ice for his warmup.

He feels Junehyoung poke him in the arm, looking amused. “Don’t worry so much about him,” he says.

Michael still can’t help it, no matter how hard he tries to not think of Yuzuru as the last group of men skate their short program. Shock barely registered when Takahito placed lower than him, or when there was some technical difficulty that caused Denis to lose focus in his skate. His hands start to shake the moment Javier finishes a clean skate, and it got worse as soon as Voronov is finished and the crowd starts cheering animatedly again.

“Next to skate, representing Japan! Yuzuru Hanyu!”

The applause was deafening as Yuzuru takes to the ice, eyes closed as he stands at the center of the rink, calm and still. The audience falls silent, and the music starts playing, while Yuzuru remains still for a few seconds before beginning his skate. Michael’s breath is caught on his throat, and he puts his hands together in silent prayer. _Please let him do well …_

The crowd gasps when Yuzuru steps out of his quad toe; he almost fell, but his reflexes were quick. He recovers, his skating light and the rest of his element light and flawless as expected from a skate to Chopin. When he strikes his ending posts, hands fisted and raised up, the crowd leaps to their feet, the rink raining with Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys.

And Michael thinks he can heave a sigh of relief now. Yuzuru had skated well, despite that error on the quad, and he’s leading; he qualified for the free skate, and maybe skating in the first group will ease his nerves a bit.

So why doesn’t he feel any better?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The dining hall was jam-packed with people having late dinner after the men’s short program. He receives pats on the back and words of congratulations from people, and he’s a little star struck to be receiving words of encouragement from the more famous skaters, the people he looks up to. He searches the room for that one person he wants to check up on, and his face falls when said person isn’t around.

“If you’re looking for Yuzuru,” Javier suddenly says from behind him, making Michael jump, “he’s probably in his room. He went straight there after the small medal ceremony.”

Michael blinks. “Thanks,” he mumbles, managing a smile before scrambling out of the dining hall, ignoring Junehyoung’s calls of his name.

He arrives in Yuzuru’s room as soon as the older one steps out. His hair is wet, and he’s back to wearing his usual black shirt and shorts. What Michael noticed, though, is the frustrated expression etched on the older one’s face. “Yuzuru?” he says, his voice a little soft.

Yuzuru meets his gaze and he smiles; it’s forced, but Michael guesses he’ll take it. “Hey,” he says. “You made it to the free skate, congratulations.”

“Thanks. I should be congratulating you, too. For leading and all.”

The forced smile quickly turns to a grimace. “I don’t deserve it,” he says. “I made a mistake. Javi should have been first because he skated cleanly.”

He doesn’t want to take sides, but he can’t deny either that Javier skated more cleanly than Yuzuru. “Don’t beat yourself up too much,” he says, reaching forward to take the older one’s hand. “You’re going to do better in the free skate.”

“And how do you know that?” Yuzuru pulls away, and his voice has a tone that brings icy chills down his spine. He’s never heard Yuzuru get angry before—frustrated, yes, many times—and this is probably the closest to angry he’ll ever get. “You don’t know what it’s like to be in my place.”

His eyes start to sting, and he blinks quickly whilst trying to reach for Yuzuru’s hand again. “Yuzuru …”

“I’m gonna go for a walk.” Yuzuru coldly pushes him aside and disappears in the hallway.

Michael finds himself leaning against the wall, his sighs ragged and his spirit down.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“You look like you died.”

“Shut up, Junehyoung,” Michael mutters, rubbing his eyes. He doesn’t need jokes right now. He already got lectured by his mother for not sleeping properly.

“Did you and Yuzuru get into a fight?” Han asks. The girls are absent in today’s dining hall; all of them had breakfast earlier than them so they can prepare for the free skate.

Michael stays silent. It wasn’t exactly a fight. There wasn’t any yelling involved. Just Michael trying to reach out and Yuzuru pushing him away. If anything, he’s just as frustrated as Yuzuru, for being useless, for not being able to do anything to help.

Han sighs and pats Michael’s head after hearing his story. “That was certainly an ass thing to say,” he says. “Should we beat him up?”

“No!” Michael exclaims. He shrinks in his seat when he feels everyone’s eyes on him after that outburst. “I mean … he’s under a lot of pressure, that’s all.”

“Meanwhile, I’m competing in Worlds in my home country.” Han rolls his eyes.

“Han,” Junehyoung says firmly before returning his attention to Michael. “Don’t beat yourself up because of that. You’re also in the free skate. Focus on that first, and then maybe you can try talking to Yuzuru after.”

Michael sighs, nodding. Junehyoung’s right. He can worry about Yuzuru later.

It’s easier than he had expected it to be. He guesses he’s trained long enough to separate focus on training and focus on something personal that it didn’t take much effort from him. It also helped that Yuzuru was nowhere in sight when he was training.

“Just remember, whatever happens, everyone is proud of you,” his mother tells him as she helps him put on his costume. “ _I’m_ proud of you.” Her expression is soft, a rare instance of softness he witnesses whenever she’s acting as coach instead of mother.

Michael manages a smile. “Thanks, mom.”

The warmup to his free skate is a whirlwind that, once again, Michael doesn’t know what had just happened until his skate is over and the crowd starts throwing gifts in the rink. He pats his cheeks as he skates back to the center, because it’s too surreal, the fact that he just finished his skate in the world stage. The announcer calls his name and he bows and makes silent thank you’s to everyone. He had done his part; he had skated with everything he’s got, and his scores and placements didn’t matter anymore.

Morozov is grinning when he steps out of the rink, mentioning something of “Zayak, but at least you didn’t fall!” His mother looks pleased as she hands him a bottle of water and tugs him to the kiss and cry. There are a couple of fans who are dangling gifts from their side, and Michael happily accepts them all.

His total score didn’t hit 200. Michael feels disappointed as he looks as his scores, but he looks back at what has happened at the past year, and he wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else.

He and Junehyoung hug when they run into each other in the locker room. “We did great,” he says. “For rookies, I mean.”

Michael grins. “We still have Triglav.”

“Yeah, but don’t worry about that. It’s just a matter of what medal we’ll win.”

“I’m definitely getting gold.”

“Or are you?” Junehyoung smirks, and they share a laugh before heading back to the rink to watch the rest of the competition.

With the pressure off, Michael is free to cheer for his friends and favorite skaters. They grow as enthusiastic as the crowd every time a skater enters the rink up to the time the scores are announced. He’s a little disappointed with Brendan’s and Jeremy’s skates, but he’s happier for Ronald and Misha for delivering more than what they were expected to. He and Junehyoung leap to their feet as soon as Denis finishes his free skate, but it’s the next skater where Michael finds himself quickly down on his seat, hands clasped together.

As usual, Yuzuru draws the loudest cheers in the audience. The final _Phantom of the Opera_ music then plays in the rink, drawing groans from some people in the audience, but it’s the awe of watching Yuzuru skate that is stronger than hearing the same music being played for the fifth time in the past few hours. There were gasps when he doubled his quad salchow then fell on his quad toe, and Michael resorts to looking down at his hands, clasped so tightly that his nails are painfully digging down on his skin. _Please, please …_

He looks up again when the crowd cheers again, just in time to see Yuzuru’s Biellmann. The rest of the program was smooth sailing, and Michael leaps to his feet as Yuzuru lands his final lutz jump and does his Ina Bauer. His eyes are stinging as Yuzuru finishes his skate, and the rest of the crowd leaps to his feet as well, letting the rink rain with more Winnie the Pooh stuffed toys.

His free skate score was lower than what he usually gets, but it was enough to put him ahead of Denis. Still, Michael can’t deny seeing the frustration in Yuzuru’s expression, who would find it more acceptable to be behind after a bad skate (in his standards) rather than go ahead. But what’s done is done. Now, he just has to wait for Javier and Jason before the final results come up.

But it was Javier who triumphed. Even he couldn’t believe it as he looks at his scores, clutching his face in disbelief. Meanwhile, the camera in the waiting area pans to Yuzuru’s face, who is happy for his teammate, but Michael can sense the disappointment in losing the gold medal nonetheless.

 _You don’t know what it’s like._ Yuzuru’s words from last night suddenly rung in his head. Yes, Michael doesn’t know what it’s like to have a nation’s expectations on his shoulders, but he knows what disappointment feels like. It’s not on the same level as what Yuzuru probably feels, but Michael hopes he can reach out to the older one with that same sentiment.

If Yuzuru agrees to talk to him.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He gets dragged by friends to have dinner outside, in celebration of the end of the season, at least for the most of them, that Michael pushes his worries behind. Han proposes a toast to the season that has been—wild but memorable—and they all raise their glasses, hoping for a better season ahead. Michael listens to his friends’ recollection of the past season, and he shares some of them, too, listening to the more experienced skaters' tips to remember.

They can’t stay out late for too long, though. Some of them will be participating in the gala the next day. Others will be flying back to their hometowns. Michael has two more days before he flies back to Manila, and he wants to spend it with friends, at least.

They part ways in the hotel lobby, and Michael runs into his mother, who had just finished talking to someone who Michael doesn’t know. “How was dinner?” she asks, when they walk together to the elevator.

Michael tells her everything of the night’s events until they reach their floor. For some reason, the hallway where their room is located is noisy, with some yelling and cheering involved. He’s about to wonder who those people are, but he hears cries of “Yuzu~” and “Kanako”, and he instantly freezes in place.

“Hello, everyone,” his mother greets the group coolly. There’s Rika and Kanako pushing a reluctant Yuzuru to Michael’s hotel room, with Satoko leaning against the wall, looking amused at their antics. “What are you all doing here?”

“Good evening, Michael’s mom!” Kanako greets, flashing a grin before bowing. “Yuzuru here wants to talk to Michael.”

“Kanako—”

“Oh, all right.” His mother eyes him carefully, and Michael looks down. He hasn’t told her yet about the incident last night. “Well, I guess we all better go and leave them alone, then.” She pats Michael’s shoulder. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours.” With that, she hands him the key before brushing past him and following the Japanese ladies out of the elevator.

There’s a long silence between the two of them, Yuzuru continuing to scratch the back of his head until Michael remembers his manners. “Would you like to come in?” he asks.

“Um …” Yuzuru puts his hand down. “Okay.”

Michael makes a move forward to open the room, leaving the door open so Yuzuru can come in. “Do you wanna get something to drink?” he asks.

Yuzuru shakes his head. “I’m fine.”

“Are you sure? I think I still have some soda here and—”

“Michael.” Michael stops and looks at Yuzuru, whose eyebrows are knitted together. “I’m sorry. Last night … that wasn’t a nice thing to say.”

Michael doesn’t say anything, just urges Yuzuru to continue.

“I let the pressure get to me. Everyone was expecting me to win, and I … well, I didn’t.” His chuckle was wry. “I shouldn’t have let it out on you. You were just trying to cheer me up. I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that. I’m really sorry.”

“Hey.” Michael reaches out for Yuzuru and pulls him closer. Yuzuru feels strangely frail as they embrace, sighing as he leans his head on Michael’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

“It’s not,” Yuzuru sighs again, his breath ticklish on Michael’s shoulder. “I screwed up. I didn’t win. Everyone’s expecting me to and …”

“Yuzuru.” Michael says it a little firmer than he should have, and he brushes his hand on Yuzuru’s hair to make up for it. “It’s over. You did your best, okay? Don’t worry about what they say.”

He’s pretty sure Yuzuru would disagree, further lament about how he disgraced Orser and his country, but surprisingly, for once, the older one just sighs in defeat and clings to him more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

“What are your plans now?”

They’re both huddled together as they sit by the balcony, looking out at the already dark sky. Michael’s mother has entered sometime in between their conversation, but doesn’t say a word. Soon, the lights turn off, and she’s sound asleep, but Yuzuru looks reluctant to leave. Michael lets him. Aside from gala practice and the closing banquet, and a few interviews here and there, Yuzuru’s pretty much free.

“I’m going back to Japan on Wednesday afternoon. Then I’m gonna train for the World Team Trophy.”

Of course. Yuzuru will compete in every competition he’s allowed, but he’s not going to say that out loud. “Do your best, then,” he says with a smile.

“You, too,” Yuzuru says, squeezing his hand. “You’ll be in Slovenia in a couple of weeks.” Michael smiles nervously. He’s put this pressure on himself to defend his title in Triglav, but with his injuries, he’s not quite sure if he can. “I’ll do my best,” he says. “After that, my mom plans to go to Europe and then go home before I start training again.”

“For a new season, huh …” Yuzuru grins. “So what program music are _we_ using this time?”

“Again?” Michael laughs, turning red when he hears his mother shush them from inside the room. “You know, if we keep getting the same program music, people are really going to suspect something.”

“Let them suspect all they want, it’s amusing that way.” Yuzuru drapes an arm around Michael’s shoulders and pulls him close for a kiss on the cheeks. “Hey.”

“Hmm?”

“Thank you.”

Michael looks up and finds Yuzuru gazing at him so intensely that there’s the urge to look away lest he feels like he’s melting. “Thank you for what?”

“Look at me, will you?” Yuzuru laughs as he uses his free hand to lift Michael’s head up. As expected, Michael feels his face heat up at Yuzuru’s gaze. “Thanks for being my rock this whole crazy season.”

He blinks. “We were miles away,” he points out. “I thought I was hardly of any help.”

“Don’t say that!” Yuzuru says. “With all this craziness going on … you’re the only order in it.”

Michael’s lips turn up, maybe stretched a little longer than it should have, but he feels like he can’t make his smile turn normal, after what Yuzuru just said. “You’re so cheesy,” he points out.

“Yeah.” Yuzuru is mirroring his grin, his cheeks flushed as well. “Yeah, I think I need to shut up …”

“Yeah, definitely, here let me do that for you.” And Michael closes the distance between them before Yuzuru says anything more.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He wakes up the next day with one of his bags packed on the edge of his bed. He sits up and looks at his mother inquiringly. “Are we leaving already?” he asks.

“No.” His mother is humming a tune as she folds her own clothes. “Yumi and I agreed that you can stay in their room for tonight.”

“W-What?” Michael exclaims.

His mother chuckles. “You only have a couple of days left. Might as well make the most of it before the two of you go back to being in a long-distance relationship.”

Being in Shanghai felt like a dream, that his mother’s words felt like a douse of cold water throughout his entire body. In two days, they’ll both be flying back home, and they’ll go back to video calls and LINE messages, to countless “I miss you”s and feelings of helplessness. It’s not the most ideal way to have a relationship, but at least they’re finding ways to communicate, to show their love.

“If I don’t hear any complaints, I’ll take that as a yes.” His mother grins as she throws a shirt at his direction. “Get dressed. I thought you’re hanging out with Junehyoung and the others today.”

“Oh. Right.” Michael stands up, more awake than ever, and rushes to the bathroom.

Team China is rehearsing for the gala, so it’s him with Junehyoung, Soyoun, Haejin, Rebeka, and Kiril doing some exploring for the day. (Han did promise that they’ll make it up to them tomorrow.) Their exploration is enjoyable, but their tour is cut short so they can make it in time for the gala.

In competitions, Michael loves galas the most. Everyone can skate without the pressures of bringing home a medal, without worrying about technical content or program component scores. It’s all skating for themselves, for fun. Michael hopes to be part of that group someday, but he knows he has to work hard for it.

As he watches Yuzuru skate to _The Final Time Traveler_ , he wondered what it would be like to share the same rink with him in the gala. He knows it’s a long shot, but he’d like to believe.

He’d really like that.

The banquet is probably crazier than the gala, which is expected, because there are no fans and no media. They spend the first few hours of the program barely paying attention to speeches from ISU officials in favor of checking their phones. In Michael’s case, he’s chatting with some friends back home, updating them on the day’s events. When the formal program is over, however, and the music starts playing, that’s when everyone starts loosening up, with Misha taking over the DJ.

He gets pulled back and forth to take selfies—with Junehyoung, Rebeka, and Soyoun; with Zijun, then Han; with Joshua, then Jason; with Denis; and a lot of other people who he can’t recall because it’s a blur.

He has finished taking a photo with Takahito and Ryuichi when he gets pushed towards someone. “Sorry,” he mumbles, but when he looks up, he gives a soft squeak at the sight of Yuzuru, looking as confused as he is. But the older one’s eyes lighten up as soon as they’re face to face, and he exclaims, “Hey!” before draping an arm around his shoulders.

Michael grins, ignoring the hoots and catcalls from the people around them. He realizes he and Yuzuru haven’t talked the whole day until now. “Um … I don’t know if you’ve heard from your mom, but …”

Yuzuru sighs and rolls his eyes. “Our mothers are crazy,” he says. He then looks around him before lowering his voice. “Not that I’m complaining, but are you … um … okay with this?”

“It’s fine.”

“Hey, you two!” Soyoun is standing right in front of them with her hands on her hips, though she looks amused. “Aren’t you getting a photo together?”

“Yeah!” a few more people chime in. Behind Soyoun, Haejin and Rebeka have fished out their phones in anticipation, while Rika was making heart signs beside them as she giggles excitedly. Someone was chanting “Couple pic! Couple pic!” Michael thinks Junehyoung, Han, the two Takas, and Ryuichi are the ones who started it; such supportive friends …

They pose for the photo, Michael letting Haejin use his phone and Yuzuru letting Kanako use his. The photo-taking felt like it had gone on for hours, and they ignore requests of kissing and more intimate photos until, finally, their phones get returned and the crowd disperses to take more selfies with other people.

He finds Yuzuru staring at him a little too intently, and he feels his face flush. “What are you staring at?” he asks.

Yuzuru blinks, as if he just escaped a trance. “What time are you leaving the banquet?” he asks.

“Um …” He looks at his watch. It’s already 10:30; he’s usually back in his hotel room around this time, so … “Maybe in a bit.”

He looks around cautiously again before leaning forward, his breath ticklish on Michael’s ear. “I’m giving you the key. You go ahead. I’ll catch up with you in a bit, okay?”

Michael’s breath gets caught in his throat, but he manages to nod as he accepts the key Yuzuru slides in his palm. He catches Javier giving him a sly look and a thumbs up, but Michael tries to ignore it as he places the keys in his pocket before making a move to bid everyone goodbyes before heading out of the banquet area without making it look like he’s in a hurry.

He heads to his room first to pick up his bag. His mother and Yuzuru’s mother are both on the couch, having tea, and they barely look up, only mutter something in the likes of “Have fun!” before he can close the door.

The 12th floor hallway is quiet, which is good, because Michael is shaking all over, nervous as to how all of this will go. He’s worried about people passing by; some fans might be inadvertently (or not) be on this floor and can spot him entering Yuzuru’s room, which will invite a lot of questions. But he’s looked over his shoulder for as many times as he can remember, and he heaves a huge sigh of relief the moment he slips inside Yuzuru’s room.

His phone beeps just as he plops his bag by the bedside. Yuzuru has sent him a ton of puppy eye stickers again, saying “I’ve been bombarded by fans. I might take a while, sorry! Make yourself at home! T^T”

Michael shouldn’t be surprised by this, but he chuckles to himself as he zips open his bag. He quickly changes into a shirt and shorts before settling comfortably on the bed. He’s not sure what time Yuzuru will be here, so he chats with some friends at home to kill time, sending them some photos from the banquet.

He must have fallen asleep because he jolts up when his LINE starts to buzz; Yuzuru’s calling him. “I’m outside the room. Open the door,” he says, sounding cheery from the other line.

Michael yawns as he drags himself up and shuffle his way to the door. Yuzuru is standing right in front of him looking frazzled, suit jacket already hanging limply on his shoulder while his hands are full with bags that are, no doubt, gifts from fans. “I’m sorry I took so long,” he says, hastily kicking off his shoes at the entrance and plopping the bags on the couch before making his way in the bathroom.

“It’s okay,” Michael says as he yawns again, plopping on the edge of the bed as he waits for Yuzuru to change. “Did the fans give you a hard time?”

“Not really!” Yuzuru yells from inside the bathroom. “Just too many toys!”

Michael laughs at that. He quickly turns his phone on to text his friend that he’ll be going offline to sleep. Obviously, he’ll be sleeping later, but his friend doesn’t need to know that.

Yuzuru emerges from the bathroom, wearing a shirt and shorts. His eyes disappear in wrinkles as he smiles, approaching Michael’s direction. Michael feels his heart start to pound loudly, moving a bit so Yuzuru can scoot beside him. “Hey,” he says. His voice sounds shaky, but it’s probably the nerves talking.

Yuzuru smiles at him, this time more softly, as he leans to press his lips on Michael’s. It’s a soft touch, almost fleeting, almost as if it didn’t happen, so Michael kisses back. His eyes close as he hears Yuzuru’s hum of approval, and his mind goes blank as his back hits the bed a bit roughly than he’d like.

“Sorry,” Yuzuru says, kissing him in apology, his hand slowly enveloping on Michael’s waist. Michael settles his hand on Yuzuru’s nape, the shock of the older one’s hot skin somehow pleasant against his. There’s something unexpectedly deliberate about how Yuzuru fits his lips with his own, with a gentleness and a sick, delightful thought that thrills him. As Yuzuru slips his tongue in, Michael only knows blind, searing heat, spreading all over his body.

He nudges Michael, gently nudging him so that they switch sides, Yuzuru gently pulling on Michael’s waist so that he’s now on top of the older one. Michael finds himself gasping as Yuzuru places hot lips on his neck, his toes curling at every peck. “Yuzuru …” he sighs. This is all new to him, but it’s something he’d like to get used to, make the most of, before reality hits again.

Yuzuru pulls away, and their gazes meet, the older one’s eyes blindingly clear but cautious. “This is …” he starts, “this is okay, right …?”

Michael notices the embarrassed flush on Yuzuru’s face, and he finds himself filled with a sudden feeling of softness and warm, fuzzy feelings. He’s overwhelmed by what he feels for Yuzuru. It has always been overwhelming, but the feelings are stronger than ever before.

He places a chaste kiss on Yuzuru’s lips. “It’s okay. I trust you.” He allows the kiss to deepen slowly, the warmth of their bodies pleasant and calming. The only things existing at that moment are the sound of their lips softly meeting, tongues slithering pleasurably across one another, and the soft shuttle of the sheets as they take in each other in liquid slow motion, as if they had all the time in the world.

It’s one of those kisses that will mean nothing, but everything, at the same time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The next morning Michael wakes up feeling refreshed. He looks to his side and sees the empty sheets, but there’s a long note of Yuzuru apologizing about waking up early because he has some interviews to do. He doesn’t read the entire note because his eyes drift to the P.S.: “ _I love waking up to your sleeping face.”_

The day is a flurry of activity, exploring Shanghai with Team China’s help, and Michael is free to take Yuzuru’s hand in his, as they’re safe amongst their group of friends.They visit tourist attractions and eat in Han’s relative’s restaurant, and they exchange numbers and social media accounts, promising to keep in touch until the next time they meet. 

And then the goodbyes. Junehyoung, Soyoun, Haejin, Rebeka, and Kirill are the first to leave. Junehyoung promises to see Michael again in Slovenia, and they go on their usual lighthearted arguments on who’s taking the title this time around. Han and Zijun leave them, too, for post-host country representative duties. Then his mother calls him so he can start packing. 

Yuzuru accompanies him to his room, being unhelpful as Michael struggles trying to fit his clothes and some fan gifts in his luggage. He’s already starting to talk of things they should do should they get similar Grand Prix assignments, or if they happen to be in the same competition again, whenever that will be. Michael doesn’t want to get ahead of himself, but the optimism is infectious. 

When the packing is done, Yuzuru pulls him close again. It’s the sweetest kiss they’ve ever shared; it’s the last one they’ll ever have until timezones separate them again. He likes the way Yuzuru’s lips linger on his, the way his fingers curl to his nape. Their foreheads bump gently into each other, and a smile worms its way into Michael’s mouth. 

“I love you,” he says softly, then looks down after saying it. It’s not the first time he’s said it, but the fact is that he means it so much that it makes him self-conscious, vulnerable, and scared. 

But Yuzuru tucks his chin up. The older one is mirroring his smile as he pulls Michael to an embrace. “I love you, too,” he says, and Michael’s worries fade away. 

They stay like that for a while, until Michael’s mother knocks on the door, telling him to hurry up so they can be in the airport on time. Michael lets their embrace linger for a bit longer, before kissing Yuzuru again and dragging him out of the room for another goodbye. 

“Don’t worry,” his mother tells him the moment they get in the cab. “You both made it work. You’ll make it work again this year.” 

Michael looks over at the cab’s back window. Yuzuru is still standing outside the hotel, waving at their direction, and his lips tug up, his heart skipping lightly. “Yeah,” he says, no hesitation whatsoever. “Yeah, we will.”


End file.
